Unfortunately after receiving feedback from my teacher I've decided to start my treatment again. My treatment does not show any features of a psychological thriller. I misunderstood the purpose of a treatment, I later learnt that it is to show the director in a bid to sell the script to them. Below is the first draft of the treatment:
Mindy is a young enthusiastic student, always coming top of her class and offers charity in her free time. Mindy Brown, one of three children to Elizabeth and William Brown (both successful doctors) spent the first five years of her life in east Africa whilst her parents worked voluntarily for the impoverished.
However despite being a bright young girl, coming from a humble background. Mindy's naivety can lead her into grave danger.
Once a week on a Thursday, Mindy stays behind to tidy up after book club. She is usually the last person to leave the school and eventually Mindy befriends the caretaker.
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Altima, This is very promising. You've set up the main character well and have hinted at a status quo that will in some way be disturbed - creating the required drama and tension required. So far a very conventional approach to narrative structure. What's needed now is a little more detail on the nature of the relationship with the caretaker and how this will upset Mindy's life and provide the audience with the necessary thrills and anxiety. You also need to say something about the visual style and pace of the film. Has your audience research shown a preference for mainstream or independent films? This will affect your treatment. Will you continue to tell the narrative in a conventional linear way or are you likely to use a non-linear structure. If your audience show a preference for independent films, will Mindy become a more complex and ambiguous character - like Lenny in Momento?
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